014: How to Develop New Habits | Biggi Fraley

What is a habit? What do you think of when you hear the word habit? If you’re like most people, you hear the word habit and associate something negative with it, like smoking, overeating, and always being late. However, habits can and do show up as positive, if you know how to train yourself toward this goal.

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Biggi Fraley
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[0:07] What is a habit? What do you think of when you hear the word habit?

If you’re like most people, you hear the word habit and associate something negative with it. Like smoking, overeating, and always being late.
However, habits can and do show up as positive, if you know how to train yourself toward this goal.

[0:32] Music.

[0:40] Hi my name is Biggi Fraley. I am The Arthritis Coach, and today I’ll be talking about how to develop new habits. As mentioned in the intro, a habit doesn’t have to have negative associations.
Many people in addition to thinking habits are bad,
also think new habits are painful. This does not have to be true either.
Once you see how habits are beneficial to you, and how they will change your life for the better, you will live a fuller, more productive life.

[1:19] Before you begin thinking about habits, it’s important to look at your perception on habits. It all starts with your mindset.
We all put habits into two categories, good or bad.
A bad habit is one which needs to be changed or completely deleted from our lives. A good habit, on the other hand, is something we need to or should have or have to create.
Once you begin to see how your association with habits resonate, then you can begin to change them for the better.
When you begin to think about habits, start thinking of them as a new creation rather than something which needs to get done.

[2:08] When we think of something as need or should or have to,
We automatically fight against it. Habits are neither good nor bad, they just are.

[2:22] Before taking on the creation of new habits, it’s important to take a look at some of your old habits,
without judging them is either good or bad. Simply take a step back and see which ones aren’t working for you.
More importantly which ones are not working for your life. Do you stay up too late and then can’t get up in the morning?
If you’re like most folks this one rings true for you. Are you late just about everywhere you go?
If so, you’re most certainly not alone.
Being late all the time is simply a habit, and one which you can change over time.

[3:08] Rather than focus on not being late, focus on being on time.
That may sound odd, but it’s a shift in perception, that takes the focus off the negative and turns it into a positive.
When your mind thinks something is a chore, it will fight you tooth and nail to make sure it doesn’t get accomplished.
But, when your mind attaches to a positive outcome, it can then create success and momentum.
If you need to create the new habit of being on time, start with ending the old habit, staying up too late.

[3:53] Begin going to bed 15 minutes earlier each night and to that until it becomes a new habit.

[4:01] When you get the proper amount of sleep, you can then focus on the new creation of being on time. Makes sense?
So, to summarize, once you have identified the old habit that no longer serves you, you can then go on to create a new habit.

[4:22] To come back to the example of being on time,
you first set a goal to be on time that is specific and measurable. For example, write down in your journal, you will be on time for three appointments this week.
When you have put it down on paper it appears as something you will do and accomplish as opposed to something you might do someday.
And take it one step further and make a declaration to someone that you will be on time for 3 appointments this week.
Keep going, ask someone to hold you accountable for this new habit.
Having someone check in with you is a great way to admit you’re not keeping your word, or you’re keeping your word and happily so.
Now in order for a new habit to stick you could try the reward system. Did you keep those three appointments on time?
Well, if so, you should proudly announce it to your accountability partner. You will derive plenty of positive feelings, and this will prompt you to do it again in another area of your life.

[5:41] In addition, why not treat yourself to a reward in some small manner? You don’t have to go out and buy a new car anything fancy like that,
but you can treat yourself to something nice, even if it’s just a good book and some alone time.
When you reward yourself for a job well done, your brain quickly learns achieving goals earns rewards and missing appointments is not so much fun.
It will naturally gravitate toward the fun, rewarding stuff instead.

[6:18] Now why are habits so important? They are important, because they set the tone and pace for a successful or messy life.
When you have messy habits you have a messy life. It’s really that simple.
Habits are important, because they dictate your success in all areas of your life.
If you consistently show up late to business meetings as a habit, everyone will associate you with being unable to keep your word.
This may trickle into other companies thinking twice about connecting with you or looking elsewhere for their business needs. How will that impact your bottom line?

[7:03] Do you see how your habits create your life?
If you don’t take charge of your habits, your habits will dictate the outcome of your life. This is why habits are so important. When it comes to your exterior world, habits are vital.
However, did you know habits are equally, if not more so, vital to your health and well-being? What do habits have to do with health and well-being?
The answer is, everything.
Your health and well-being rely on you, your choices, and decisions. If you have habits which don’t promote and provide for a healthy lifestyle,
you have an unhealthy life. It’s really this simple, yet most people don’t realize it.

[7:57] Why do you eat so poorly? You don’t have time. Not having time as an excuse.
Making time is where you want to put your energy.
If you have to give up 3 minutes of sleep or disengage from a negative conversation in order to make a healthy bowl of oatmeal in the morning, you can make that choice.
You can either make choices or make up some excuses, which don’t work for you or for your healthy lifestyle.

[8:27] Why don’t you go to the gym? You’re too tired. There are too many things to get done.
The excuses can range from truth to ridiculous at times. It’s not always easy, but it is doable. You can give up 30 minutes of television and get to the gym.
You can talk endlessly about a problem or make time to go to the gym.
It’s all matter of making smart decisions instead of excuses.
When you begin to see how you have the power to create new habits and end old ones, which don’t work for you, you take back your power.
Begin declaring to other people what your intentions are surrounding new habits. You will begin to notice an immediate shift.
Once you begin to declare new habits you’re creating,
they begin to manifest their way into your life. For example, if you begin to declare you will create a new habit of meditating,
you will begin to get into conversations with those who are interested in meditation. They will either never have tried meditating and may want to join you,
or may know of a great meditation they watch and use.
Once you begin to declare your new habit, it it takes on a life of its own.

[9:55] No matter what your goal is, begin declaring it and watch how it now gains momentum and life.
Next, begin to measure your new habit in small increments.
With the meditation exercise, for example, begin to declare you will take on meditating 10 minutes every night this week for three nights. When you break
it down into manageable chunks, it works much better.

[10:26] It’s okay if you can’t keep your word right away, just try again next week.
However, saying you’re going to start meditating has no measurability to it. It’s too vague, and you set yourself up for failure.
So, just start slowly and make steady progress. You’re better off that way. Now you might be asking, which habits should you focus on creating when it comes to your health and well-being.
And, that’s a great question! One, I will be answering in next week’s podcast, when
I will share with you my top 12 healthy habits for you to explore.
So, please, do join me next week for the latest episode of The Arthritis Coach podcast, available every Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. Pacific on your favorite podcast channel.
Also, all the show notes, full transcripts, etc., are available on https://biggifraley.com website.
And, as always, thank you for listening. If you enjoyed the show, please, do share it on your favorite social media outlets! I look forward to talking to you next week. Bye bye.


About the Author

Peak Performance Coach, Biggi Fraley, helps successful but overworked entrepreneurs double their productivity using the mindset and productivity habits of the world's top performers, so that they can work less, enjoy life more, and spend quality time with friends & family.